If Only For A Moment
by CaT70
Summary: Birthday Fic for Aya. AyaYoji Aya's depressed and visits someone special


If Only For A Moment

Weiss Kreuz

Shounen-ai

Yoji/Aya

Gives away nothing except Aya's real name. assumes some storyline knowledge

Sap, slight angst,

Don't even start w/the warnings and crap. It's called FANfiction for a flippin reason…

If Only For A Moment

He walked down the sidewalk, slow but determined. He had a place to be, things to do, but that didn't mean he necessarily wanted to be there, or to do them. They had to be done though, and that's what kept him walking through the rain. He had been smart enough to forget his umbrella at home, but did remember his jacket, which didn't do him much good in the rain he was in, but it was better than nothing. His shoulders shook slightly as he walked through the old gates. They made classic horror movie noises as the wind blew them slightly. He looked sadly down at the wilted and dead flowers near the path before moving on. The pathway was straight, exact, but even if it would have curved and turned every way, he would have known his destination with his eyes closed. He passed by toys, flowers, lots and lots of flowers, most of them were dead or in the process of dying, some had jewelry that would be stolen in the next few days, and others had objects he couldn't place or were seemingly insignificant, that must have meant the world to the once living being beneath the earth.

If he could cry any more, all the tomb stones would have probably brought the tears out. He had shed his long ago, they had run out, or were just building up. He wasn't sure which. No matter how many times he came, it was always the gravestones that got to him. Made him want to run around screaming, or kill someone, or laugh, or cry, but he mostly wanted to leave. Leave and never have to come back. But he had promised himself that he would visit her, and visit her he would. The rows continued, either on the ground, or like shrines, some more American based had angels praying above them, some were just patches of earth, nothing marking that anyone was buried there, but you could tell. You could always tell. It was either a vibe, or the way the earth settled afterwards, or something, but at least he could always tell that there was a body somewhere or if it was just an area of land.

Reaching his destination, he gazed down at the earth before him. He wished it were a joke. Just some sick joke that someone had played on him, anyone it didn't matter, all he wanted was her back. Just to know that she was out, living her life like she should be right now, that would be enough. Even if he couldn't talk to her, couldn't see her, if she had the chances that he had wasted would keep him happy forever.

He knelt down next to the grave, never on it. Gently, as gently as his frozen fingers would allow him, and he brushed the beautifully carved characters. He sat there a long time not really thinking about anything. He was just…there…with her in a way. It was as close to her as he was going to get for the moment. Time passed along without him, the rain let up a bit.

"Aya…"

He didn't know what to say. The last time he had spoken to her, she had been lying on a hospital bed. "I'm sorry that I can't visit you as often. I know I'm not a good brother, but I'm trying for you. We'll be together again soon I promise." He rested his head against the cool stone, dampness getting into his eyes and running down his face. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry Aya…" He closed his eyes and just sat there, waiting for something. Waiting for nothing.

"Aya…Aya…"

He didn't want to move, didn't want to think. He wanted the earth to swallow him so that he wouldn't have to deal with life anymore. He was just so tired.

"Ran…"

He blinked. The rain had stopped around him. He blinked again rapidly, clearing his vision from the hazy blur he had been staring at noting through. Something warm was on his shoulder. "…Ran…"

Aya looked up and found a large blue umbrella shading him from the rain. Carrying the umbrella was Yoji, a small, almost sad smile on his face. He squeezed Aya's shoulder slightly, speaking slowly as if he were trying to calm an animal. "Come on Ran, let's go home okay?"

He helped Aya to his feet, catching him when he almost fell over. Seeing him like this upset Yoji so much more than he could express. He couldn't stand to see Aya in any kind of pain, especially something he had no control over. They walked back to the car, only after Aya had freaked out and ran back to the grave, where Yoji found him laying the flowers down by her headstone. The ride home was as silent as the walk to the car. Neither of them said anything because there was nothing to be said, at least out loud. The whole way home, Yoji could only wonder when Manx would allow him to tell Ran that his sister was indeed alive.

He was on autopilot, letting Yoji lead him to their room. He could have pretty much gone anywhere and it wouldn't have mattered at that point. He had realized how weak he had become, how much he depended on Yoji more and more every day. The more he thought about it the more he realized how bad of a person he was, and how incredibly weak of a person he had become.

He let Yoji undress him, and then put him in nice warm clothing, then do the same to himself. He let him lead them to the bed, and then Yoji pulled him into his arms and held him, pulling the blankets up around them. Aya rested his head against Yoji's chest, once again putting his weaknesses on someone else. With Yoji though…it didn't matter. Yoji didn't care if Aya was strong or weak, and that was one of the reasons that he truly…

He began whispering words into Aya's ear. Sweet, soothing words. What Yoji said wasn't truly important, it was the fact that he was saying them. The fact that he cared about Aya enough to bother with all the shit he dealt out. He snuggled in closer, letting the warmth calm him. "Thank you."

Yoji stroked Aya's hair. "For what, love?"

"Everything…"

He smiled and kissed his forehead. "You're welcome. Oh, and Ran?"

"Hm?"

"Happy birthday love."

Despite himself, he smiled. Only slightly, but he was sure that Yoji noticed. "Thank you."

"I'll give you your present in the morning. Get some rest now." He kissed his forehead once more. Aya stuck his head in the crook of Yoji's neck. "Night love."

"Mm…"

Maybe…just maybe, Yoji would be the one to make him stronger.

So? Yeah I know it's like an hour and a half past midnight but whatever! The fact that I got ANYTHING done is a miracle! Yeah, so watcha' think? Good? Bad? Print out and use as toilet paper? Continue? o.O yeah…I think that this world is filled with too much sadness and angst and death FF's so I'll add meh own sap into it and try to balance the equation, ne? right it makes sense to me. I'll shutup now and go kill monsters. HAPPY 4TH GUYS!


End file.
